I'd be there
by Hycka
Summary: Little Teddy Lupin is crying continuously and there's the full moon upcoming. What a perfect time to start a conversation about death. Some night marriage arguing.


**The idea was changing as I was writing this. First It was only a picture that bumped into my mind, when I was watching _Men of steel_. Then I started to see many other aspects to this story. **

**As usual, own nothing.**

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Little Teddy has just stopped crying and decided it's good time to finally fall asleep.

Tonks comes back from the nursery and as she opens a bedroom's door she can see her husband, half awake, covering his face with a pillow and muttering something about hallway's light with irritation. She closes the door quickly yet quietly and lets the room plunge into the darkness again. It takes her a moment to get used to a dim surroundings. Eventually she buries herself in the narrow bed, trying her best not to interfere with Remus.

'Teddy's okay. I don't think he's ill or anything. Maybe just hungry a lot. Infants should probably sleep more but lately I can't get any sleep either, so anyway...' she says after a brief moment of hesistation. The only response she gets is Lupin's acknowledging mumble.

'Maybe I shouldn't take him home so fast from St. Mungo. He's only a week old, our little thing,' she tries once again and pokes Remus' calf gently with her toe.

The man turns in the bed and lets out an annoyed groan when he faces her. 'Dora, let me sleep. It's enough the baby's been crying the whole week since it came here. It's full moon tomorrow, just try to show any understanding. The talk's over.'

Tonks lays still for a moment and then she stands up, grabing her sheets. 'I guess I'll just leave you and your moon alone. Come find me when you're done with the whole _werewoolf time_!'

She's ready to leave, her hand on a handle, her cheeks red with indignation, when he gasps loudly. 'Don't act like a fool Tonks, stay...' He rises up a little and looks somewhere above her head. 'Since I'm not sleeping at the moment, we can talk as well. Why can't you sleep recently?'

'Oh, well...' she whispers, sitting on the bed again. She puts a quilt around herself and rubs her cold feet with her hands. 'I'm realising day by day, that the war is truly happening around us, Remus...' She runs her fingers through her pink hair. 'And I'm sure... I think we are going to die soon-'

'Oh, stop, I've changed my mind,' he snaps. 'I don't want to talk if you're going to act like this. I'm only saing it once and don't want to hear a word from you. You're going to die as an old witch with a great bunch of grandchildren, sitting on an armchair and carrying a book!' He breathes loudly and shuts his eyes, deciding to come back to sleep as soon as possible. He's heard her considering her own death so many times, he's actually fed up with it already, without them talking this trough at four a.m.

'Don't you dare patronize me Remus Lupin,' she says with her voice cold and steel. She buries her face in her hands, trying not to burst into tears right in front of him. 'If you wish me a death like that, if you actually think our life's going to look that way... Well, then you don't know me at all, _darling_.'

There comes the silence. They both remain still, trying to pick up the talk. Frankly, no words seem right at the moment. Remus rises his hand and leans to touch Dora's shoulder but withdraws half way. She's grateful for not having to push him away.

'I think I'm going to die soon, Remus,' she finally speaks. 'I'm an auror and the member of the Order of Phoenix. We all hear the news. Voldemort is getting ready an Harry is being seen more and more often these days. It's all coming to an end and I'd be a fool to think that I'm going to step out of it alive. I've been terrified at first but then... I just like to think that it's good to agree with the reality. It's exactly the place we live in...' She looks at her husband and sees those green eyes, she finds so adorable. He's lost his weight recently and his skin is paler, due to not going out very often. And there's this wrinkle above his right eyebrow, that didn't use to be there a week ago. 'I can't sleep because once I've ralised the end is soon, I've started to make some arrangements. Like, to whom should we leave Teddy, or what would be the best way to say goodbye to him and explain why it all must have happened.'

Remus' shocked. He sits up slowly nd grabs Dora's wrist, a little too hard yet she doesn't grimace.

'I also think sometimes about the moment itself. How would it look like, how would I prefer it to be. Yeah, not exactly how a fresh mother should spend her time, don't you think...'

Lupin swallows and loosens his grip on Tonks' hand. 'If I ask you how would you want to die, in circumstances like ours, will you promise me not to mention this topic ever again?' he asks, gazing impatiently up her face.

'Sure, I could have guessed you wouldn't agree with me...' she smiles a bit. She can feel his hand's very warm, his little pre-transformation fever. 'I'd like to see it coming. It's the only condition I desire. I know my life is meaningful and I don't need to act like a hero till the end. But I'd like to have a small moment before all's done. A brief second.'

'What for?'

'To think of you... To picture your face in front of my eyes and gain the strenght to... I'd just like you to be there.'

It's the end of the conversation. They both lie down, lost in their thoughts. Finally Remus rolls Dora's t-shirt up and caresses her expanded skin on the belly, that carried his son not so long ago. The sun is rising, lightening the room and Tonks shivers a little, crying in the dawn's silence.

'The day after tomorrow, I'm going to look after my son and give you some time to rest... I'm sorry Tonks.'


End file.
